I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
