I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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