My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
