This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Randomize
