It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
