Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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