HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
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