Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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