What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
