your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
