'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
