p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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