escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
