The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
