But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
