im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Someone came in the potted fern
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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