GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
