Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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