I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
