Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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