If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
