ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
