Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
