She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
