Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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