THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I don't deserve a penis
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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