I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
