yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My legs feel like baby dolphins
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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