ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
