I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
