shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
