I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
