is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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