My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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