Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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