Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
