quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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