you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
