i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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