farters have to be the big spoon...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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