somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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