So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
These tits shall not be calmed
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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