oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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