It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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