you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
