we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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