she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
