ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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