He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
