you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
